Lovesick
by AmandaCullen84
Summary: Edward remembers the summer of 1918.
1. Irish Devil

**This is my second fan fiction. All human. Not normal pairings.**

**Give it a chance :)**

**Let me know what you think, leave a review.**

**

* * *

**

The Summer of 1918 was one I would never forget.

The summer of my seventeenth year held so many things for me, the year I became engaged to my loving wife, Bella, the year of the Spanish Influenza, and the year I watched part of me die, with her.

At the end of June, three days after my seventeenth birthday, our housemaid quit. She had been getting on in years and was a bore to be around, I wouldn't miss her. My father and mother, Edward and Elizabeth Masen, interviewed a few women, they ended up hiring an Irish girl who was the same age as I. Her name was Colleen Murphy. She would start the next week. I would never forget her.

"Edward," my mother called from our formal sitting room.

"Yes, mother," I answered.

"The new house girl should be here soon, would you show her in when she arrives? Bring her straight to me," my mother looked at me over the top of the book she was reading.

"Of Course, Mother," I said, and smiled.

The war had my attention, I wanted nothing more than to be eighteen and be able to join the war effort. The only thing that would even begin to hold me back was Bella. Miss Isabella Swan, my intended wife. She was beautiful. I loved her. My plan was to marry her and then go off to war and come home a hero. My Mother hated the idea and wanted me to go to college and be a lawyer, like my father, Edward Senior. I pacified her by telling her I would, in fact, go to college, I just left out the part where it would be after I came home from the war.

There had also been stirrings of some unknown illness among the troops, it seemed to be highly deadly, but we hadn't seen it in Chicago and were unconcerned.

I heard a knock on the front door. I was far from prepared for what I would find on the other side.

She was much shorter than me and curvy, unlike most of our Irish house help. Her skin was white, like porcelain, with a light dusting of freckles across the bridge of her nose. She wore a grey dress, with a white apron over top. She had a small watch pinned on her chest. The part I was most fascinated by was her hair. The attempt to pin it into submission had failed, here and there a long curly tendril of fire would find it's way out of the mass she had in a bun atop her head. I desperately wanted to free it, I was appalled at myself for feeling this way. She was help, I had a fiancée, and she was _Irish. _

"Hello, I'm Colleen Murphy," she sang, the effect of her accent, "I was told to report here this morning. You Must be Master Edward."

She courtesied. She was very well spoke, another shock for me. She looked me in the eyes, hers were a beautiful, clear blue, I was mesmerized.

"Master Edward?" she spoke, bringing me out of the spell she had cast on me.

"Yes, of course. Follow me Miss Murphy," I led her inside, then to my mother.

We walked up the oak stairs, either of us barely making a sound, I could smell her, she smelled of honeysuckle. I was intrigued by it, by her, this wouldn't do. I would call on Bella this afternoon. That would drown this Irish Devil out of my mind.

"Mother, Miss Murphy has arrived," I said, formally.

"Oh good. Hello, I'm Mrs. Masen, you can call me Mistress Elizabeth," my mother smiled widely at the Irish Devil.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance Mistress Elizabeth. Mr. Masen said you like to run a tight ship here. I can help you with that, just familiarize me with what you like to be done," her accent was like a song to my heart, playing all the right notes.

With my mother showing her the house, I left.

I walked to Bella's house, it wasn't far from my own. Her front garden was beautiful, lilac in bloom. The wrought Iron fence had ivy growing along it, adding depth to it. Opening the gate, I went up the walk and knocked on her door, her father, Charles, answered.

"Ahh, Edward, do come in," Charles was always happy to see me, "Bells is upstairs, I will go fetch her."

I needed to see my Bella to undo the damage the Irish girl had seemed even more beautiful in my mind, this had to stop!

"Edward," Bella floated down the steps, I walked towards her, catching her as she tripped on the bottom stair.

" Ah Bella, I just needed to see you today," I smiled.

I loved this woman, even with her lack of grace, the thought made me smile lopsidedly.

"I'm glad you came, though I am getting ready to leave. I have lessons with Mrs Cullen this afternoon," she frowned slightly.

"That's ok, give my Aunt my best," I squeezed her hand, and left for home.

Damn! That visit was much too short, now I would have to go home and face the red haired devil who was disguised as an angle. I marched in the door, went to the drawing room, and sat at my piano, hopefully this would leave me blissfully free from her company. Why couldn't I stop thinking of her. My life was perfect, I had a plan and she was not part of it. It was then I heard the clicking of an unfamiliar footstep, it must be her. I began to play, annoyed.

I watched as she walked into the room, feather duster in hand, she moved with the music. Perfectly matching my tempo. She twirled and seemed to dance, without really dancing. The loose tendrils of her hair swaying with her again I fought the urge to free the trapped silken flame. As she dusted the piano, my song became a lilting Irish tune, she looked at me through her red lashes. Colleen twirled, on purpose this time, allowing her feet to do the step dancing I'd seen some of the Irish girls doing when I'd been on their side of town. My song picked up in tempo and I was amazed at the movement of her feet, more of her hair came lose from the bun and her honeysuckle sweet smell wafted my way in waves. Dusting, she danced around me, so close to me I could feel the heat off her body as her skirts brushed me. I wanted to touch her but to do so would have been highly inappropriate, not that what we were doing now was exactly appropriate. When she finished the piano she danced to the door, turned to me, smiled and bowed, then walked out as if nothing had happened.

My pulse raced. Her scent lingered in the air around me and her eyes through her lashes flashed in my mind.

This Irish Girl would be trouble, but I wanted more.


	2. I Am Awake

**I'm going to keep going withthis one even if it has no interest behind it LOL. I like it.**

**Review if you like it, I need some reassurance :)**

**A/n I do own Twilight**

**

* * *

**

The light of dawn streamed through my window, but that wasn't what had woken me up.

"_Tá mé 'mo shuí ó d'éirigh an ghealach aréir  
Ag cur teineadh síos gan scíth 's á fadú go géar  
Tá bunadh a' tí 'na luí 's tá mise liom féin  
Tá na coiligh ag glaoch 's tá 'n saol ina gcodladh ach mé__ ,"_someone was singing, it was beautiful.

I fought to wake up and focus on where the voice was coming from.

"_Sheacht mh'anam déag do bhéal, do mhalaí 's do ghrua  
Do shúil ghorm ghlé gheal fá'r thréig mé aiteas is suairc  
Le cumhaidh i do dhiaidh ní léir dom an bealach a shiúl  
Is a charaid mo chléibh tá na sléibhte ag gabháil idir mé 's tú__ ," _it was like a warm breeze, caressing me.

Sitting up slowly, I looked around, Colleen was in my room getting my laundry. The sun hit her and just the right angel making it seem as though she had halo of fire around her, she hadn't yet pinned up her hair. She must have assumed we were all still asleep.

"_Deireann lucht léinn gur cloíte an galar an grá  
Char admhaigh mé é nó go raibh sé 'ndiaidh mo chroí 'stigh a chrá  
Aicíd ró-ghéar, faraor nár sheachnaigh mé í  
__Chuir sí arraing 's céad go géar fríd cheartlár mo chroí__ ,"_she place clothes from my hamper into her basket, oblivious to me.

I stood, not thinking as clearly as I should have been, I wanted to touch her hair, to see if it would burn me.

"_Casadh bean sí domh thíos ag Lios Bhéal an Áth'  
'S d'fhiafraigh mé díthe an scaoilfeadh glais ar bith grá  
'Sé dúirt sí os íseal I mbriathra soineanta sámh  
Nuair a théann sé fán chroí Cha scaoiltear as é go brách_," I inched closer to her, her voice was sweet, like honey.

I reached out quickly putting my hands deep into the mass of deliciously red curls, scaring Colleen into dropping her basket, whipping around to face me. She looked startled, scared, I didn't want her to think I was going to hurt her.

"Shhhhh," I put my lips to hers.

She didn't fight me, she kissed me back as eagerly as I kissed her. My hands never left her hair, gasping for breath, we broke away from each other. The blush rose in her cheeks like the morning sun rose in the east, it made her that much more beautiful to me.

"Edward, um, Master Masen," she stumbled on her own words, "That was highly inappropriate, I'm the help, please take care that it doesn't happen again. I may be lower class, but I do have virtue and morals, and a heart."

She looked down, her long lashes hiding her eyes from me, I did not let her go.

"You fascinate me, I know this isn't something I should be doing, I understand the sheer impropriety of it, but I can't seem to let you go," I confessed.

We stood in silence, our hearts beating against one another.

"That song, what did it mean,"

"It's called, _I Am Awake,_ in English, Would you like me to sing the words to you, in English?" she didn't try to move from my arms.

"Yes, I would like that," the thrill of her here, so close to me was like nothing I had ever felt.

"_I have not slept since the moon lit the heavens last night  
Just setting the fire and stroking the ember to light  
The household's retired and I am left here to sigh  
The roosters are crowing all the world is asleep barring I_

_My soul is enthralled with your mouth your face and your brow  
For your sparkling blue eyes I abandoned contentment and glee  
Due to longing for you I'm unable to travel the way  
Oh friend of my bosom the hills come between me and you_

_Wise men proclaim that lovesickness can leave one unwell  
I did not believe it until my poor heart came under its spell  
A malaise in my craze I failed to ignore  
With a hundred and more aching pangs it's pierced my heart to the core_

_I met a banshee by the Fairyrath near Ballina  
I asked her politely if one could be cured of this "grá"  
And she answered me kindly in tones so simple and low  
"Once it sets in the heart it cannot be freed evermore", "_She had her eyes closed as she sang and I was sorely tempted to kiss her eyelids, but I restrained myself

The song, it described very accurately how I felt, did that mean she felt the same? I searched her eyes, this strange creature pressed against me, against all the rules.

"Are you as infatuated with me as I am with you?" I asked her, my brow furrowed.

"Yes, I'm afraid I am, I have no idea why. It's like I am drawn to you, like a child to confections," she sighed and relaxed against me.

"It makes no sense, we only just met yesterday, do we fight it?" I asked her.

"Aye," she sighed, "I think we must."

She placed her head to my chest, I relished the feel of it, the hair on my arms standing. We would have to fight this, we couldn't allow this to happen, my heart felt heavy at the thought of letting her go.

"You should let me go, so I can finish getting your laundry and pin up my hair before your parents wake," she slid her arms around my waist, I shivered at the feel of it through my think nightshirt.

"I know, please don't pin up your hair," I grabbed a handful of it, smelling it, "please."

"I have to, please, let me go," I felt her stiffen.

I let her go, watching her kneel to pick up the laundry she had dropped. She stood, looking at me sideways, smiled and started to walk out of the room, singing.

"_Tá mé 'mo shuí ó d'éirigh an ghealach aréir  
Ag cur teineadh síos gan scíth 's á fadú go géar  
Tá bunadh a' tí 'na luí 's tá mise liom féin  
Tá na coiligh ag glaoch 's tá 'n saol ina gcodladh ach mé__ ," _I listened to her as it faded down the steps.


	3. Secrets in the Night

**I see some of you are reading this and I'm glad, I know there isn't a huge audience for this type of fanfiction. I hope you are enjoying it! It promises to be quite a ride.**

**If you like what you see leave me a review! (I'm a review ho!) LOL**

**A/N I do not own Twilight! But I DO own Colleen!**

**

* * *

**

Colleen helped the kitchen staff serve us breakfast, I had a hard time keeping my eyes, and hands, off of her. This was going to be a long day.

After breakfast I followed my mother on her usual walk through the garden.

"Is Miss Murphy, more,"I searched for a polite way to ask, "more educated than our other Irish house servants?"

My mother looked at me quizzically. I understood, I had never asked about the servants before.

"Yes," she said, "her mother died when she was born, unable to care for her, her father sent her to the nunnery, they educated her and fed her until, when was fifteen, her father remarried and came to fetch her."

"Her father sent her to the convent, as a baby? How awful," I mused.

"They educated her well, she is the youngest head housemaid we have ever had, but she is so bright, your father couldn't resist," my mother smiled at me.

"Father has always had a soft spot for you Irish girls," I smiled back.

"Don't I know, don't I know," my mother shook her head.

"How did you two overcome your class difference?" I wondered aloud.

"We refused to acknowledge it. Everyone else followed suit, why, dear?" she raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm just curious," I placated her.

"How is Miss Swan?" my mother said in a warning voice.

"She is well, I called on her yesterday but she was going to Aunt Esme's," I conversed.

"Oh, well, I may call on my sister today, I miss her so," she rubbed the locket that contained the picture of her and her twin.

"I think I will take your leave now, Mother dear," I bowed to her, smiling crookedly.

I went back inside, my mother would be gone until late evening if she had taken on the notion to go to Esme's , and would likely send for my father. They loved to spend evenings with the Cullens. That would mean she would ask Colleen to remain until they returned to chaperon me, even after the rest of the staff had left for the evening, oh what a sweet a turn of events this was!

First, I had to meet Bella at the park. We had agreed to walk there today. I put on my hat and strolled out the door.

"Edward," Bella curtsied.

"Isabella," I bowed.

We strolled, she talked about her piano lesson yesterday, she wasn't very good but she enjoyed my Aunt's company. She told me about the latest gossip, for which I had no taste. Her company always warmed me. I walked her to her home, then continued on to mine. By the time I walked in, it was past time for dinner and the kitchen staff had gone. My parents were indeed not home.

"Ah, welcome home Master Masen," Colleen smiled and took my hat, "Your dinner is still warm, sit at the table and I will fetch it for you."

Obeying her, I ventured into the dinning room and sat in my father's chair at the head of the table, as was my custom when he was not home. She brought out the plate, I hadn't realized how hungry I was.

"Have you eaten?" I asked her.

"Yes, with the other servants," she replied coldly.

"Please, sit, talk with me," I motioned to the chair to my left.

She hesitated, and I noticed her beautiful red hair was in a thick braid down her back, perhaps in an attempt to keep me out of it, but she did as I asked. She sat very stiffly in the chair, obviously uncomfortable.

"Did you know." I asked, " that my mother was a young Irish serving girl when my father met her?"

She tried to hide her astonishment,"No, I did not. It failed to come up in conversation when your father interviewed me for the position."

"Well she was. I'm going to be frank, I have a woman to whom I am engaged, but, you, you have peeked my interest in a way I cannot fathom. I wish to get to know you,"I chewed while she contemplated what I said.

"Master Masen, my reputation is all I have. I am not wealthy, my family struggles, without my reputation, I am nothing. As it is I will likely be an old maid," she frowned, still her countenance was beautiful, "Yet, I am inclined to accept your invitation. You intrigue me, in ways I do not understand. It's maddening!"

I laughed heartily, yes, it was maddening.

"Just what is it you find humorous," she crossed her arms, anger flaring in her beautiful blue eyes.

"Your ability to point out the obvious," I chucked again.

Then I heard the most wondrous thing, she laughed with me, it was more musical a sound than her singing, such beauty in one creature!

"What was your childhood like," I shot the question at her before her mood could change.

A dark cloud drifted over her face.

"The sisters were strict, but they taught me well and for that I am grateful. When my father sent for me, I have never had a happier moment in all my life," she smiled gently, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Do you have brothers or sisters?" I quizzed.

"Yes, some of them have died, but I am one of twelve, we are quite the brood," her eyes twinkled, " only four of them are younger than me."

"You grew up in a convent, so can you play an instrument?" I asked.

"Yes, I play several, but was only taught piano at the convent," she smiled again.

"What's that mean?" my plate was empty.

"The Irish are a musical people, boy-o," she winked as she laid on her accent so thick I almost didn't understand her.

I laughed.

"What about you," she asked, "who taught you to play so beautifully."

The flush in her cheeks made her freckles more prominent.

"My Aunt, my mother's twin, as you said, the Irish are indeed a musical people," I tried my best brogue.

Collen's laughter filled the room, we both jumped when there was a knock at the door. She stood straight up, brushed the wrinkles out of her pristine apron, then walked straight to the front door. I followed her, when she opened the door to reveal Jasper Hale, the Cullen's butler, I was worried something may have happened to my parents.

"Here you are Miss," Jasper handed Colleen an envelope with my fathers script on it.

"Thank you," Colleen shut the door.

What is it?" I asked, startling her.

"Oh you keep startling me like that and you'll drive me to drink and I've not far to go to begin with!" she yelled.

I laughed.

"Well open it," I prodded.

"Your parents will be spending the night at your Aunts, they want me to stay here in the servant's quarters so you will not be alone. They do know we are the same age right?" she raised an eyebrow, looking into my eyes alarmed.

I shared her alarm, all night? How could I stay all night in my own room knowing she was here in the bedroom off the kitchen? The pull between us was so strong, I couldn't imagine ignoring it. We stared at each other flabbergasted.

"Would you like me to play for you," I suggested breaking the silence.

"Yes, that would be lovely," she was even more pale than before, it was disconcerting.

I played for her, every song I knew, every song I had written. Sometimes she sang along, endearing herself to me. Finally, I could take it no more, I turned to her and pulled her to me.

"Edward!" the use of my first name only encouraged me, "put me down, think of your intended!"

And I did, I thought of Bella, I loved her but I couldn't ignore the pull of this girl. I wouldn't. Pulling her into my lap, I kissed her. Colleen's hands flew into my hair, goosebumps rose on my arm. I yanked the ribbon containing her hair, it should always be free, something so wild shouldn't be caged. Using my fingers like a comb loosed her hair.

I made her stand before me, removing her apron, she was not my servant. Taking her to my room I laid her on my large four poster bed.

"Edward, we can't," she sighed, as I placed kisses along her collarbone.

"Yes, we can, if one of us died tomorrow would you rather your would be safe or that you truly lived?" I looked her straight in her eyes and saw the flash.

Her lips were soft, I enjoyed the feel of them on my chest in contrast with her rough, work calloused hands. I felt no regret, like this is where I was meant to be right at this moment. I unbuttoned her dress, she was pale with even more freckles, I ran my fingers over the soft white skin. Oh she was so beautiful.

"You are so beautiful" I whispered.

"Hush, before I lose my nerve!"Colleen said into my ear.

We lie naked in each others arms, kissing, nipping, touching. Neither of us strong enough to take the next step, she lay beside me on her side, her body pressed to me, as I lay on my back. I nervously ran my hand through my hair, she hitched her leg around my waist. I ran my index finger, ever so lightly up her thigh felling her shiver and sigh against me. She was certainly ready for me, I could feel that.

Turning her onto her back, I gently entered her. The arch of her back gave her a graceful form. She moaned. Colleen's hands were on my hips, my hands were in her hair again as I leaned over her, trying to be as close as I could be. She whispered my name and my heart stuttered, how could I fall for this girl?

"Hold me Colleen, hold me tightly," I begged her.

She obeyed, you could no longer tell where I stopped and she began, we moved in time with each other. Hungrily, I plastered my mouth to hers, and together, we had release.

Colleen nuzzled into my neck, her warm breath tickling me so slightly that it felt good. What had I just done? I didn't regret it but I didn't know how I would move forward either. For now she would have to be my secret, until I could figure out what I wanted. I felt so torn but no regret.

"Edward,"she looked up at me, "what will we do now?"

"I don't know Colleen, I don't know."


	4. The Morning After

**Ok guys, if you are reading it and you like it let me know! Don't make a girl beg ;)**

**I do not own Twilight or the related material but I DO own Colleen.**

**

* * *

**

I couldn't risk leaving Colleen in my bed, though I wanted to very badly. I gently stroked her naked thigh, eliciting a sigh from her sleeping lips. Leaning down, I gently kissed them, breathing in her sigh.

I gathered her clothes and took them to the servant's quarters behind the kitchen. Searching the closet I found a suitable nightgown, the old housemaid had lived with us and she left some behind when she left. Satisfied with what I had found I made my way back up to my own room.

Light from the gas lamps outside filtered through my lace curtain, it light up her creamy skin giving her an almost ethereal glow. Looking at her, naked, in my bed left my chest feeling warm, I relished the feeling.

I gently rolled her to her back, allowing my fingers to linger on the warm flesh of her stomach. Taking great care not to wake her, I put the night gown on her. It was almost sunrise, I didn't need my parents to come home while I carried our housemaid to bed, completely naked.

Scooping her up I made haste to the room behind the kitchen. Colleen stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hello," she smiled, her voice hoarse from sleep.

"Hello," I replied, kissing her forehead gently.

"Just going to dump me off in some strange bed were you?" she teased.

"Yes, well, I didn't think my parents would find it amusing that our new housemaid was naked in my bed," I quipped, covering her with the blanket.

Lovingly, I stroked her hair, loving the way her eyelids fluttered as she tried to fight sleep. I was amazed at how Colleen's hair seemed to give off it own glow, constantly reminding me of living fire. My bed would feel so much emptier without her in it, the mere thought made me long to stay here with her.

Knowing I couldn't be found here with her, I forced myself to stand and headed towards my room. Once inside the door slammed behind me. I was beginning to feel sad over what had happened, not because of my previous responsibility to Bella, but because I knew I couldn't be with Colleen, yet I was beginning to desperately want to.

Pulling a night shirt over my own head, I laid down in my bed, finding the spot Colleen had been in and breathing in her scent as I drifted into sleep.

"Edward, darling, wake up," My mother shook me gently to rouse me.

"Ugh," I groaned, covering my head with my blanket.

"Come on darling, Bella will be here in a few hours for lunch. Her father is coming too, how could you have forgotten?" she shook me again.

Like a bolt of lightening, her words woke me instantly, Colleen and Bella, in the same house?

"Mother, does Colleen have the day off?" I asked, hopeful.

"She would have but, since she was already here she agreed to stay and help. It was very kind of her, she seemed very tired. She said she didn't sleep well in the unfamiliar bed," my mother seemed concerned at Colleen's lack of sleep.

I could feel the blush rise in my cheeks.

"Edward, do you feel ok, you're flushed,"instantly my mother was fussing over me.

"I'm fine mother, nothing to worry about, I promise," I smiled at her and she relaxed.

"Well, clean up and get dressed, I'll send Colleen to fetch your dirty clothes and make your bed," with that said, she left my room.

Stripping off my night shirt I wondered to my closet, to pick my clothes for the day. A small knock sounded from my door.

"Come in," I said, knowing it would be Colleen.

She blushed so furiously that I thought maybe she had a rash.

"I've come for your clothes sir," she pointed her eyes to the floor.

"Please, shut the door behind you, have you no respect for my modesty?" I said coolly.

"Yes sir," she quickly shut the door but kept her eyes on the floor.

Stooping, Colleen gathered up my night shirt and the clothes she had helped me discard the night before, her face matching her hair in color. She stood as tall as she could and faced the wall opposite me.

"I will bring you warm water for your wash basin, it will take but a minute," I watched in awe as she balanced the pitcher of cold water and the dirty clothes, then rushed out the door.

Amused, I laid my clothes for the day on my bed. I didn't want her to act like a servant towards me when I could help it. It didn't suit her and I did not like it. I wanted to be her lover and friend, though I knew that to be unrealistic.

Her Timid knock sounded on my door, again.

"Enter," I held back the urge to chuckle.

Colleen strode in, the pitcher of steaming water in her hands, crossing the room to my small wooden framed was basin and mirror, the door closed behind her. I watched as she poured the water for me and readied anything I might need to wash and shave. Something about it was erotic.

Deciding the best way to crack her shell was to force it, I came up behind her and cupped her neck in my hand.

"Your skin looks lovely that shade of pink," I whispered, my lips brushing her ear.

The shiver I felt from her thrilled me, she did still feel for me what she had last night, my heart thudded loudly in my chest. Maybe I could make this work somehow, many respectable men had a wife and a mistress, but I didn't really want that for Colleen.

A sigh escaped my slightly parted lips.

Then the most wondrous thing happened, Colleen dropped my shaving kit splashing into the water, turned to me and crushed her lips to mine. Her small fingers caressed my naked sides, making me moan quietly. All this tension couldn't be goof for me.

I ran my tongue along her bottom lip and she darted hers out to meet it. Tilting Colleens head to make the kiss deeper, I grabbed two fistfuls of her skirt. Both of us started to breath heavily, nipping each others lips and touching any bare skin available.

I knew we had to stop so I tore my mouth away from hers.

"Not now," I breathed as she nuzzled my neck.

"Not now," she agreed.

While I shaved, I watched her make my bed in the mirror. Her soft humming filling my room with joy. I tried to imagine my life before she walked into it and it seemed much darker. I hissed when I cut myself with my razor.

Colleen immediately turned her full attention to me.

"You've cut yourself," she said gathering a washcloth to my face.

"Yes, I should pay more attention," I smiled at her.

Something I had seen before, but couldn't place, flashed across her eyes, followed by a blush on her cheeks. Tenderly, I kissed her pink lips.

After Colleen had finished tidying my room, I could focus on dressing for the day and joined my mother and father down stairs.

"Ah, good morning Eward," my father's smile lit up the room.

"Good morning," I replied.

"Bella will be here in an hour, I have the cook making a light lunch,"my mother patted the seat beside her and I took it.

"Ah, she will enjoy that," I said.

We sat talking or reading for the next hour, until we all heard the knock on the door. I heard the light footsteps I knew to be Colleen's heading towards the front door and I groaned inwardly. I did not want her to have to endure this.

"Right this way Miss," her sing song voice floated into the sitting room.

Colleen and Bella stood before me, Colleen in her grey dress and whit apron, Bella in her blue, vibrant dress, her hands soft and unworked. One who fit in my world, one who didn't. I sighed.

"Miss Swan and her father have arrived," Colleen curtsied and left the room.

I could have sworn she was more pale than normal.

I found myself thinking that it may turn out to be a very long afternoon.


	5. A Beginning

_**It's a short one but it will be worth it for the next chapter!**_

_**Leave me love!**_

_**A/n I do NOT own Twilight but I DO own Colleen**_

_**

* * *

**_

Once we had all taken our seats at the long dinning room table, the tension I felt began to ease. I wasn't afraid Colleen would say anything about us, I knew she wouldn't, but I didn't like her having to see this part of my life either. Imagining the hurt she must feel seeing Bella, knowing it couldn't be her, left a dark mark on my heart. I also knew she wouldn't be serving the meal, we had staff for that.

We made small talk, my mother asked Bella about her hobbies and how many children she wanted to have. My father asked Charles what it was like to be in the police force. All very routine, mundane, and boring.

I tried to seem interested, but my thoughts lingered on Colleen.

"Edward, dear,"my mother prodded.

"What, what did I miss?" I asked, forcing a smile.

"When would you like the wedding to take place?" my mother's eyes lit up as she asked.

"I was thinking maybe a year from now," I had never really given it thought and now I wanted more time.

Everyone looked at me, shock painted on their faces, it was highly not ordinary to wait so long.

"Well I would like to have time to pick a school, so I can know where we will be settling," I tried to placate them.

I felt the room relax as everyone listened to me, thank goodness. We had already had the man course and were awaiting the light desert my mother had ordered our cook to make, when I heard her familiar footsteps.

My head snapped in her direction, Colleen's hair was in a long braid down her back, her head was down, a slight blush rising in her cheeks. She placed a desert in front of Bella then, very quickly, exited the room. Guilt tainted the rest of my meal.

As we said our goodbyes, my mind was elsewhere, I wanted to make this up to Colleen. My brow was furrowed and I could tell both my mother and Bella had noticed my change of mood. I didn't care.

"Goodbye Edward," Bella leaned in and Gently kissed my cheek.

"Goodbye Bella," I forced a smile as I returned her gesture.

The door shut behind Bella and he father and I was prepared to go find Colleen directly.

"Edward," my mother called, "are you sure you are feeling well?"

I nodded as I hurried off toward the kitchen, she wasn't in there, I felt odd inquiring where Colleen was to cook, but I did anyway. Cook told me that Colleen had taken some laundry to the yard to dry. So, I headed towards our garden.

There was a light breeze and the sun was warm, I saw her, standing behind the sheets and linens wafting lazily in the breeze. Her eyes were rimmed in red, Colleen had been crying, I felt my heart sag in my chest. Casually I walked to the clothes lines.

"Why have you been crying," I asked, concealed behind one of the sheets.

"I wasn't, onions always make my eyes water," she said, looking only at the laundry in her hands.

Stepping out form behind the sheet, I ran my finger along her delicate jaw, forcing her to look me in the eyes. Not only had she been crying, she still was crying. Sighing, hard, I crushed her to me and felt her sobs against me.

"You knew about Bella," I breathed, "why did you offer to stay?"

"I knew nothing could come of us," she began her reply, "so I decided I needed to just act as I always do. I would never hesitate to lend an extra hand. It effected me so, seeing you there, bored out of your wits, with your bride to be."

Her eyes were filled wit the sweetest sadness and I ached to be with her. To be able to offer her the support she surely deserved, I felt like a monster. Instead, I pushed my lips ti hears, not urgent, just soft, soothing, trying to relay to her all the things I could not say and did not understand.

"Let me come home with you tonight," I begged, confused at my own sudden need, "I want to meet your family."

"Edward, you can't possibly mean that, what if you get caught?" I could see the fear in her eyes.

"I won't," I promised.

"How can you know that?" she scoffed.

"I'm a boy, Colleen, I will tell my parents I am going to a show or something, they'll believe me," I said softly, running my fingers along her cheek.

Colleen grabbed my hand and pressed the palm to her lips, I leaned my head back and breathed in deeply. Her touch was so much to me, such a strong feeling over took me, did I love her?


	6. A Plan in the Shed

**This chapter is in Colleen's POV, if you like her POV let me know and I will try to work it in more often. Emmet is also introduced in this chapter. **

**If you read it and like it please please let me know! I would really love the feed back**

**This story has also been accepted at Twilighted**

**A/n I do NOT own Twilight or it's characters. I DO own Colleen.**

**CPOV**

As I felt the soft skin of Edward's palm, I wondered at how he could even stand to feel the roughness of my own. We were so different, yet here we were, hidden among the clean sheets, stealing embraces.

Edward had a woman he was set to marry, it was not me, I was unintended. I was _his _unintended.

That should have made me feel shameful, but it didn't. I should have been confessing to my Priest, not planning on taking him home to meet my family.

"Dress down," I said, my hand on his chest, "you will be much too conspicuous in your fine clothes. Do you even have any normal clothes?"

His brows furrowed, only slightly, as though he was considering what I had just told him.

"I suppose you are right," he spoke softly, "I can borrow something from our gardener, he's my age and we have been friends since we were very small children and his father was the gardener."

"Oh, you mean Emmett, his family lives in the same neighborhood as mine. The McCarty's are lovely people," I rambled.

What if Emmett saw him there.

"Why don't you bring Emmett," I said, knowing how badly it could go, hoping to stop him, "He would love to meet my sisters."

"That would take the element of surprised out of it, if he already knows at least we wouldn't be surprised if he told someone," he was nodding in agreement, to my dismay.

"I'll invite him then," I breathed out, "You should just keep up appearances for the day. I'll also ask about a set of clothes, he is much bigger than you, but, the bagginess won't be noticeable where we are going. I'll place them in your room when I have them."

My head began to ache from the utter absurdity of this plan.

"When Emmett and I are free to go for the day, you should be changed and just follow Emmett, he knows where I live," I reached up and stroked his cheek.

"I will be ready," he whispered, leaning down to me, his lips pressing gently to mine.

When Edward had gone back into the house, his scent lingering on my clothes, I began to finish hanging the linen. It was my job after all, doing his family's laundry. I sighed. I didn't see how this affair could end well for me.

Maybe it was selfish to worry about how it would end for me,perhaps I should have been more worried about Bella, his wife to be. She was innocent in all of this and such a nice girl. I didn't want to cause her pain, she did not deserve it.

Placing the last sheet one the line, I ventured off to find Emmett. I started with the tool shed, sometimes he would take his break in the small wood-framed building, eating an apple and reading. My mother had taught his father to read, his father had taught him. Sometimes, I was jealous that he had benefited from my mother's love and I had not even known her, but it was hard to feel any kind of ill will towards Emmett. I wished I had taken the time to get to know him before I started working for the Masens.

My Irish luck held and I found Emmett, reading, in the shed. He was a tall man, his dark hair poking out from under his cap in ringlets. His blue eyes reminded me of ice, his smile always brightening a room.

"Colleen," he stood and crushed me in a bear hug.

"Em, you're crushing me," I laughed, "Who will do the Masen's laundry if you hug me to death?"

He chuckled, "Can't have dirty rich people. What brings ya to the shed?"

I felt the heat rise in my face, I was pretty certain I could trust Emmet, but what if I couldn't? My job, my family's well being, my reputation, all these things were at risk here. I took a deep cleansing breath and let it go as he watched, one eyebrow raised.

"Edward would like to borrow a set of your clothes," I said, my eyes downcast.

"What? Why?" Emmett looked very confused.

"Emmett, I'm about to trust you with something that could ruin me, please don't let me down," I took a breath, "Edward and I, well, we have been enjoying each others company.....thoroughly."

At first, no spark of recognition lighted his blue eyes, but, after about two seconds, it was there, bright as a fire.

"Colleen, what are you thinking? What if you get caught? You would be disowned and shamed. You would never find a job in Chicago as a maid again," Em spoke impossibly fast, his large hands engulfing mine, "what are you both thinking?"

His words struck me as effectively as one of his hands, what were we thinking? At the very least, what was _I _thinking? I was the one who stood to lose everything, if Edward was caught he would get a slap on the wrist. He was a boy, rich, it was expected of them to do this kind of thing. Despite all of this, I wanted to continue.

"We're not Em, not thinking at all. We are just doing it, allowing it to unfold. Haven't you ever felt that strongly about something that you would scoff at the negatives to get it?" I explained, hoping he would understand.

I watched his face, a small sad smile took hold of his features, "Yes, I know that feeling," he walked towards the back of the shed and picked up a small parcel, "here are my extra clothes, take them, just be careful."

"One more thing Em," I said, taking the parcel, "We want you to come with us."

"Of course," his bright smile lit up the space between us, "Will your sisters be there?"

"Yea, Em, they do live there you know," I smiled at him, maybe would could do each other a favor.

We discussed the plan, then said our goodbyes. Taking the clothes to Edward's room, I began to list the things I still needed to accomplish for the day: bringing in the linens, dusting the house, and being sure all the bedrooms were tidy. I could get all those done relatively quickly and Emmett would be free to go in two hours, then our plan would be put into action.

Walking into Edward's room, I suddenly broke into a cold sweat, but I wasn't backing down. We would do this and he would see why he should stay away from me. I wasn't on his level, despite my educated appearance.

As I gently laid the parcel on his bed, I decided I would kill two birds with one stone and tidy his room while I was in it. I smoothed out his already made bed, wondering where he was this afternoon. Maybe on a walk with his mother. I breathed in deeply, his scent my reward. Edward smelled so good, sweet, like fresh cut grass, yet earthy.

I fought the urge to roll in his sheets so I could carry his scent with me, I barely won over that simple urge. All these emotions for this boy were driving me insane.

I couldn't have him!!

The need to slap myself was sudden and harsh, why was I playing around with my own heart in such a manner? I wanted to scream.

Then I got a hold on myself and continued my chores. I sang, talked to the other workers, whatever I needed to do to not think about Edward and what we would be doing when I left for the day. When I finally put the last piece of linen in the closet, I was about to bust with excitement and dread.

I walked out the back door, the one meant for servants, and made my way to the back gate. When I saw Edward, dressed in an Irish gardeners clothes, my heart leaped, why couldn't that be true? I could imagine us, walking hand in hand, to and form the Masen's to do our jobs and go home to our small brood of children.

I shook the fantasy out of my mind, because I needed to be rooted in reality and imagining our green eyes babes wouldn't help that.

Looking back at Em and Edward, I nodded slightly and walked off toward home.


	7. delay

****

Ok guys, just wanted to let you know, I am not updating tonight and maybe not for a couple of days. Someone close to me in real life lost his Dad today.

Your understanding in my delay is really appreciated.


	8. Warmth and Foreboding

**Leave me love, sorry it took so long to update!! I will update at least one more time this weekend. I have 4 stories going on at once LOL.**

**I do NOT own Twilight but I DO own Colleen Murphy and all things pertaining to her.**

* * *

**  
**

**EPOV**

Emmet and I walked side by side, watching Colleen as she nervously walked at a high clip. The clothes were rough, but I didn't mind. Reaching up, I adjusted my hat, Em's idea, It covered my recognizable bronze locks. We'd been walking for a while before I noticed that all the houses were small and wood framed. All the yards full of small children. We must be getting close.

"Look, Edward. What are you doing with Colleen? She ha had a rough life. She deserves to be loved without complications," Em said, tipping his hat up slightly so I could better see his face.

"I want to love her Em. I don't want to toy with her, but I have to be sure. I can't uproot myself if it isn't something that will last. I know I'm doing wrong. I know," I shook my head as I spoke.

Em clapped my back with one of his large hands ion a gesture I knew to be comforting. I was glad I had grown up with this big brute and that my father was so fond of hiring out of the Irish community. Looking up, I realized Colleen was opening the gate to a two story, white, wood frame house. It was large than most in the neighborhood, but still very modest. There were two boys, they looked like twins, sitting in the front yard playing. Colleen reached down and tousled their hair as she walked up the porch steps to wait for us.

"Emmett," the boys ran up to Em and threw their arms around his legs.

"Will, Thom," he nodded to the boys, they must have been three.

"Well, come on then," Colleen called from the porch.

We followed her inside, Em seeming just as nervous as I was as he wrung his hat in his hands. The sitting room was very plain. There were a few chairs and a cradle with a small child sleeping in it in the corner. A tall man rocked in one of the chairs, reading a book. His years could be counted by the wrinkles around his eyes. His red hair was no longer vibrant, like Colleens, but muted with grey.

"Da," Colleen called, breaking the man's attention.

"Ah, sweet daughter, who have you brought home?" he stood as he spoke.

"Da, you know Em, but this is Edward. He is a good friend of Em's," Colleen lied.

He reached out for my hand, "You can call me Collin."

His hands were far rougher than Colleen's, their lives must be hard. He smiled broadly and I found myself smiling back. I wondered how he would feel about me if he knew the truth of my relationship to Colleen. Em flinched slightly beside me and I then saw why he was just as anxious to be here.

A blond girl, a few inches taller than Colleen, had come flying around the corner when she'd heard Colleen's voice. She was beautiful. Slim and pale, she was almost out of place. Em blushed slightly.

"Rosalie," Colleen spoke, "you remember Emmett? And this is Edward."

The blond girl bowed slightly to me and walked up to Em and threw her arms around his neck, teasing him about being gone for so long. Really, the atmosphere of their home was very cozy.

"Let me show you around the house," Colleen offered, gaining a quizzical look from her father.

She took me through the kitchen, one of the larger rooms in the house. It seemed well used. Her step-mother was in the room preparing dinner with Rosalie and a couple of her other siblings. Next, was the small room where her father kept what few books they had, there were also some pictures in here. I recognized some of the faces as the siblings currently in the house, but there were four older boys I did not.

"Those are my elder brothers," Colleen noticed my curiosity, "Michael, the oldest, died in the war. I miss him terribly. Liam, is currently overseas, we pray daily for his safe return. His last letter mentioned an illness that seemed to be griping some of the troops. That," she pointed, " is Riley, he lives down the street with his wife and two boys. The last one is Malachy, he died six months ago from a fever. My father was crushed."

The sadness in her eyes hurt me, I wanted to keep her from any pain I could. Gently, I slid my hand into the underside of her braid. Colleen looked at me with longing. Our lips touched each other. The heat from the gentle kiss was amazing.

"Stop," Colleen sighed.

Throughout the evening, I enjoyed myself. I watched as Emmett tried to win over Rosalie. It seemed as though he was successful. Colleen let her guard down and was totally herself, she laughed and told stories and sang as her father played a guitar. Her family got on so well and was so lively, I didn't want to leave.

I had to leave though and, when the evening came to a close, Colleen walked me as far as the edge of her neighborhood. I didn't want her to, but she insisted and her father was ok with it. So, I walked down the street, hand in hand, with the girl I loved.

"Colleen," I said, unsure of myself, "I find myself wanting to believe that this," I lfted our joined hands, "could really happen. I think I love you."

We stopped and she turned to me, her eyes searching my face. I though Colleen might cry and I was upset hat I had caused it and wanted to take it all back. The night was cool around us and all was quiet. This is where I always wanted to be.

"Oh, Edward," she looked down and I felt a hot tear hit my hand, " I do too. We can't. I love you too, but we just can't."

Then, Colleen was sobbing. Just sobbing. My heart ached and I was immensely glad that the houses surrounding us were dark. I couldn't imagine how this might look. I lifted her, not wanting to watch her weep on the ground anymore, and held her tightly to me.

"Please, Colleen, don't cry. I can't stand it, it hurts me so to watch it. We will figure this out," I nuzzled her as I spoke.

Slowly, her sobs became less violent and she calmed. She looked up at me, her eyes sad and hollow, and pulled my face down to meet hers. Despite the tears on her face, I had longed for her to kiss me. The sweetness there was something utterly unknown to me before Colleen.

"I have to get home, my darling," I brushed the tops of my fingers across her red, swollen cheek.

"I know," her voice was hoarse as she rose.

She stood there, under the gas lamp light, and watched me walk away until she was nothing but a small speck. I loved her, completely and totally. My parents had made it work, so why couldn't we. I didn't want to hurt Bella. I still felt so very very torn.

I tromped up the front steps, finding the door unlocked for me and went inside. Everyone was asleep. I had been out so late, yet they trusted me. I wasn't sure why anyone trusted me at this point. I was not worthy of it. I shed Emmett's clothes and placed them in the back of my closet for future use.

As I laid down in my soft, warm bed, I didn't know the trials that would lay before me. I didn't know that I should treasure my time here, happy. It would haunt me often later in life.


End file.
